Passion.

I am glad I decided to write another entry. Yes, it has been several months. I feel pretty disappointed in myself; I've felt uninspired and my writing has felt inadequate in general. I had a serious case of writer's block for the second half of last year. However, this changed when I felt a genuine desire to write, something I have not felt even as I was writing about topics of my choosing for my History and English courses this past semester. My writing as of late felt contrived, strained, and lacking any genuine emotion. It feels so refreshing to actually have an inclination to write! I do hope this new found energy stays for the upcoming Spring semester! I have 2 writing intensive courses... anyhow.

I watched a recent episode of Ugly Betty it explored an interesting emotion: passion. Now, this necessarily does not have to do with anything romantic. More like having that burning desire to do something, to accomplish a goal one has been working towards furiously. At the episode's end I wondered: Do I have passion? How do we measure it? Can it be deceiving? Interestingly enough, while I was beginning to write this post a fellow blogger inspired passion to write!

So my dear, amazing friend Julianne over at http://jdaydreamer.blogspot.com/ discussed standards of beauty within American society. I figured I felt passionate about this topic: As I read her entry, a bubbling, slightly burning sensation built up in my chest that seemed to rise. I am certain this was not heartburn or indigestion. A flurry of thoughts and emotions whirred in my head for a while until I could form a half way (if lengthy) decent response on her post. After submitting my entry, I thought to myself "So, was that passion?"

This seemingly mundane experience has lead me to believe that being passionate is physical and mental. Just as a set of hormones are released from the adrenal glands one is excited, passion can often be felt. Mentally, a willingness to do it must be present. In Ugly Betty, for example, the protagonist Betty feels her boyfriend, Matt, needs to tap into his passion about painting again. To make a long story short, unbeknownst to Matt, Betty enters some of his paintings to an exhibit in hopes of igniting his passion for his art. The curator chose the pieces that had "drama and passion" which were the one's depicting Betty either as a savage monster, Medusa, and King Kong and Matt was the blonde girl.

The paintings were a result of the anguish and betrayal Matt felt when Betty "cheated" on him (so she kissed her ex boyfriend... and apologized profusely later... anyhow!). Combining raw and intense emotion along with skill and cunning Matt adequately demonstrated to the rest of society his passions. Betty felt he needed a remainder of something he felt strongly about, body and soul. In real life, do we need validation about our own passions? Is it really passion if we drift away from the goals we were so gun-ho about a few months, days ago? What causes some passions to extinguish?

Last year, my majors were English and Philosophy of Law. After taking a course for my second major, I realized I have no passion exploring the philosophical roots of ethics in our society. Instead I found myself missing the crushing course work of my European History class in my senior year of high school. Without much hesitation, I logged on to WebSIMS and changed my major from Philosophy of Law to History. Turns out, I was a lot more passionate about History than Philosophy. Had my passion for History been there all along? Did I bury my true passion for History because I deemed it silly seeing as I want to go to law school when I finished my undergraduate education? Yeah, pretty much. But I said to hell with it and I am very content with my choices. Besides, law schools don't have prerequisites in terms of what majoryou chose in college.

Our passions can be inhibited by our surroundings, misunderstanding parents, or toxic relationships. Sometimes it comes from within; we don't measure up to our own standards, we think what we care about is stupid. Perhaps what we felt passionate about twenty years ago (starting a flared leg jeans company) simply are no longer relevant. As long as these passions are not life threatening or criminal why should be follow some one else's plan for what we should feel strongly about? Write that novel. Make the perfect creme brulee even if you have zero baking skills. Flirt with the guy of your dreams. What do you have to lose?

Having passion for something makes life so much richer; things do not have to be so practical all the time. That's no fun. Let's embrace our passions and celebrate being alive.