In light of several conversations I have had in the past few days, I felt the need to revisit this topic again.
My cousin and I were discussing relationships on Saturday evening, next to a boy she is currently crushing on. While swigging a Corona Extra around, I proudly announced I didn't want to look for a boyfriend, that I didn't want a boyfriend, and that I didn't need a boyfriend. She had a different opinion.
"Really? I go crazy without a boyfriend."
This evening, my friends and I were discussing one of my friend's boyfriends. My friend without the boyfriend quipped: "Having a boyfriend sounds like a lot of work."
So why is it many of us desire one?
I came to the not-so-original conclusion during my fifteen minute break at work. We want to be wanted by someone we want. This is what we crave. We want someone to desire us for our physical attributes, as well as our personalities, passions, morals, and flaws. We want to have a stable source of affection. We want someone to love us completely. We want everything this person has to offer us, even if it means arguing over the most trivial situations, putting up with their foreign habits, accepting certain unchangeable differences.
Perhaps I am not actively searching for a boyfriend. However, I am not completely closed off to the idea either.
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2 comments:
Same here! It worries me sometimes when girls say that they're lost without a significant other. Is it really that bad for a girl to just be content with being single, at least for the time being?
Then I'd get comments like, "Well, that's because you've never been in love!"
That's true. But being in love doesn't mean one should totally lose their sense of identity in their significant other. I think being in love means that both people involved accept and respect each other for who they are, and they're both better off because of this mutual bond and understanding.
We so easily fall into the trap of putting someone we admire on a pedestal. At least, that's what usually happens to me whenever I think I've found someone. But it never works out in the end because of that darn pedestal.
It'd be nice to have a boyfriend, to have someone who appreciates me for who I am, to have someone who cares about me and the things that I care about. But yeah... sustaining a relationship is definitely a lot of work. Most people don't think about that -- for them, it's the idea of falling in love that they've actually fallen in love with. The sad thing is that sometimes they don't know the difference, and that they really don't know what they want because they don't know who they are yet.
I'd rather spend my time being single figuring out what it is that I want out of life and what I want out of myself, rather than moping about the fact that I'm still boyfriend-less. Love will find you somehow. It always does.
(Call me shallow, but it wouldn't hurt at all if the next guy that tries to ask me out is actually cute -- and less of a creep! lol)
Dear god, I do NOT want a boyfriend, ever. I want a husband, please, preferably one comfortable with the monumental tasks of being my best friend and also not killing me while living with me until one of us is in a casket from a natural cause that does not include murder (or, in my case, my ashes would be under the apple tree in my backyard).
Also, god, WHY have I been looking and looking desperately and found only shallow jerks or males completely uninterested in me? Also, why have you made me so shy that I do not feel comfortable with the idea of dating? For ****'s sake, I am an adult and all, so I should be fine with it, right? Get to work on that, you lazy, all-powerful bum.
Anywho, I am glad that my mother taught me to think of this exact philosophy towards men. I just hope it doesn't backfire and leave me in this lonely hell that I have been drowning in these many, long years. Drowning in fire, then in tar, then in battery acid and, recently, in white-hot plasma. It is a very lonely, very interesting way to drown. I do not recommend it to ANYONE.
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