This word has been bouncing around my mind for a couple of weeks now. Towards the end of every calendar year this tends to happen: the sense newness approaches, and with this newness comes an opportunity to create meaningful changes. Granted, one can make change whenever they choose so, but there's something about the completion of the earth's celestial orbiting that makes the need to change that much more signifcant, pressing.
Last year was the only year in recent memory I decided to make some resolutions. My first resolution was to not stress the arbitrary; I needed to focus on goals that I wanted and not worry about the trivial happenings. Hilariously enough, I did quite the opposite. I spent a good part of the year pining for someone I couldn't have, in turn wasting time and, even more tragically, brain cells on an arbitrary issue. I made none of the changes I pledged to impliment. If anything, those problems I wanted to rectify have become even more cumbersome.
Those resolutions were utter failures. I do not plan on making those mistakes again. Sometimes one cannot dismiss the trivial minutiae of the everyday. So what if I spend time on something seemingly unnecessary? It is inevitable.
This time around, I do not have resolutions. Instead, I have to reevaluate. What's working? What's not? What's bogging me down? There is one thing I actively want to create: contentment. For a number of years I have fallen into a comfortable pattern of disillusionment and unfulfillment. As I age further into adulthood, I realize I am the only one capable of changing my circumstances. It seems as if that would be an intuitive idea, but I have also come to realize it is not. At least for me. So, I have to reasses what values to internalize in order to create the contenment I so desperately crave.
It's a decidely abstract and lofty idea. However, it is not necessarily a concrete goal; it's a blueprint, a compass if you will, to make lasting differences. I am tired of being my own biggest disappointment.
This post is as vauge as the idea I am trying to pursue. I hope that in the coming year, these changes will become transparent. Perhaps the path of contentment will be as dependable as the passing of our measured time.
Last year was the only year in recent memory I decided to make some resolutions. My first resolution was to not stress the arbitrary; I needed to focus on goals that I wanted and not worry about the trivial happenings. Hilariously enough, I did quite the opposite. I spent a good part of the year pining for someone I couldn't have, in turn wasting time and, even more tragically, brain cells on an arbitrary issue. I made none of the changes I pledged to impliment. If anything, those problems I wanted to rectify have become even more cumbersome.
Those resolutions were utter failures. I do not plan on making those mistakes again. Sometimes one cannot dismiss the trivial minutiae of the everyday. So what if I spend time on something seemingly unnecessary? It is inevitable.
This time around, I do not have resolutions. Instead, I have to reevaluate. What's working? What's not? What's bogging me down? There is one thing I actively want to create: contentment. For a number of years I have fallen into a comfortable pattern of disillusionment and unfulfillment. As I age further into adulthood, I realize I am the only one capable of changing my circumstances. It seems as if that would be an intuitive idea, but I have also come to realize it is not. At least for me. So, I have to reasses what values to internalize in order to create the contenment I so desperately crave.
It's a decidely abstract and lofty idea. However, it is not necessarily a concrete goal; it's a blueprint, a compass if you will, to make lasting differences. I am tired of being my own biggest disappointment.
This post is as vauge as the idea I am trying to pursue. I hope that in the coming year, these changes will become transparent. Perhaps the path of contentment will be as dependable as the passing of our measured time.
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